Grown pains

For when the season is (seems) hard.
These past couple of weeks have been strange.
Not stranger than at any other time and season in my life, but strange because for the first time I’ve taken the time to acknowledge that there is a strangeness in the air and resolve to fix it.
I acknowledge also, that it could all be in my head. A shift that has come with the changing of the seasons.
I have spoken in tidbits about this on random instagram posts but no one ever really reads those (except me i think). It has been such a new territory, actually sitting and praying and pondering on all the things I am feeling , and boy are they a lot of these feelings. A lot of stuff I have internalized and dismissed before. Now Im choosing to deal with it all head first.
No matter how uncomfortable.
It has all pushed me to question my beliefs and the reasons I believe. I have hit several dead ends and come to a few very important resolves, which I hope to share when, we cross this bridge.
But all in all, I realise that this too is a season. A very jarring and eye opening season. On the outside everything is going great. I am working, I get to create, I am finishing my bachelors degree and am surrounded by the people I need in my life. But I need to rework some stuff internally to reach equilibrium. I am not afraid and, I have so much hope that the future beyond this moment, is sooooo bright.
I have hope.
Im obsessed with light and shadows. The combination of them both on a pristine day is ver inspiring. These self portraits were taken on more glorius and sunnier days.
We will get back to them in due time.

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