I’ve been growing.
This is a reflection post
For a long time this year, I have felt stagnant and like I was not growing because on the outside nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing was happening. If you asked me what I wanted to happen, I couldn’t even tell you, but all was dead.
I was disappointed in myself on the low because, coming into this year, my goal was to make the most of the year and squeeze every last drop of juice from it.
I started strong
But somewhere along the line I took my eyes off my focus and onto everyone and everything else . Then I tripped.
There is something about comparison that when misused is so poisonous to your being. It is jarring and distracting and so consuming. I say when misused because, sometimes but very rarely, comparing can fuel you to want to be better, but again that’s rare. Majority of the time, it throws you off course and you end up belittling the journey that you are on because your eyes are so fixed on someone else’s.
He says do not despise the day of small beginnings. I say I won’t but then I take my eyes off him and forget what he’s doing.
It’s harder to recover when you have been so infilled with everything else, but the things you should be working on.
Then comes cleansing phase.
I know for me, comparison overwhelms me by showing me how underwhelming my progress is. My heart literally grows sick.
After saying all this, back to the title. When I eventually got back on track and refocused my gaze back onto what I was doing, I realised something.
All along I’ve been growing. The spurts might have been happening in the midnight hour when all is dark, and by morning break you forget it and don’t see it, until you actually notice, but I know something has changed.
Things that kept me down, don’t phase me anymore. I bounce back a little quicker than I did before and my perspective on life is so much more healthier and hopeful. My faith is restored.
Today is my birthday. I am not where I need to be but I look forward to where I am going.
I’m changing and ever evolving, I’m stretching and blooming. I’m growing in age, as well as in every other way.
You are too. Look closely.