I’ve been thinking about family,
All the good things,
the very bad things, that have you questioning a lot in your life and, all of the ugly.
The extremely ugly.
Family is an interesting construct. Its so fascinating, and complex and complicated and yet so simple. There are layers and levels and heights and depths to it.
I think about my family a lot. My immediate family, but mostly the people who have gone before me that I can only wonder about. The ones who I haven’t met before but, who’s blood runs, alive through my veins. The ones who I am fashioned after and who hold the answer to the person I have become today.
The fact that you could be like someone who you haven’t met before, and the way you act, is linked to who they were . There are things that I do that make me question myself. The things that I do, that don’t seem like me. Then again, is it me excusing my unexplained behaviors, and looking to point fingers when all along it has been me.
So many interesting thoughts and questions.
I am thankful for the blood and the flesh and the lives that have allowed me to be in this place, but I am also grateful for the opportunity to choose what I want to apart of and what I choose to keep. For example, some parts of family are very destructive and poisonous and that’s just how families can be. I’m grateful that I have the choice to cut myself off, and choose to be different in circumstances like that. I can choose to become my own person, separate from the ways of certain people. That power, is one I own.
I get to choose the family I want to be apart of and choose the characteristics I want them to hold. It will be a fight, trust me. Some things are just ingrained in us, but the body is a beautiful, ever evolving creation that you can bridle in the ways you want it to go. By His grace.
That is your strength.
On another note, this camera is my inheritance, that I got from my *grandmother, actually my dads great aunt, but she played the role of a grandmother and did it well. She was handed this and 4 others by an american family she worked for in the apartheid era and I don’t know where they originate from but they landed in my hands. No one else was interested in them after she passed, so I begged my mum to bring them over from South Africa and she did. I’m grateful. I haven’t inherited a lot, but this is more that I could ever want.
As a lover of photography, I believe it is destiny I would have them. Hence the thought of inheritance.
Life is funny