I am writing a letter to myself. My past, my present and my future self.
Why? I love a good letter. Why not write one to myself.
I have seen you moving.
The way you live and the way you move, and navigate through this thing called life. I have seen you wrestle and fight and struggle and fail, but also overcome, many a time. Some days I have been too gentle but mostly, a bit too harsh with you at times, actually a lot more times than that. I told myself that it was in the name of helping you be the best.
I am sorry.
The force of those lessons were unnecessary. There are ways I could have said it without the disrespect and the harsh tone that came with it and you would have still gotten it. I apologize for not being your biggest fan, in a world that is hellbent on making it even harder for you. I promise with this letter, to be better. To do better and learn from this.
I have watched your every move, creepy, but you are me and I am you. Sometimes when I saw that there was a ditch up ahead that you would would fall in, I wish I could warned you, but then again how would you have learned? I’m glad that even when you fell in, you were able to claw your way out and keep it moving. You always keep it moving. That has and always will be one of your strengths. You go through dark places, through the valleys but you don’t dwell there, no matter how tempting the idea of throwing a pemanent pity party there seems.
I’m glad you found God, for yourself. Life has been a journey and the trip for you to get here has been one strewn with all the ugly things in life that should have had you defeated.
Yours is experiential.
It is not just from the books. But yours in from a life you have lived with Him. You are now convinced of the reality of this thing called faith. If i told you in advance that you would be here, you wouldn’t believe me.
When I tell you that He will bring you through the darkest of times, He will. Brace yourself. When you pass there, mark those places as signposts. Never forget where you have come from.
Remember when the thought of another day was so foreign? You are living many “another days”, because you threw your weight onto Him.
Remember to never forget.
There is so much more to say and write to you, however I know you know.
This letter is for you. Written with all my love.